Backstage Entries

He could hear the crowds screaming "crucify" "crucify"... He could hear the hatred in their voices, These were his chosen people. He loved them, And they were going to crucify him. He was beaten, bleeding and weakened... his heart was broken, But still He walked He could see the crowd as he came from the palace. He knew each of the faces so well. He had created them.He knew every smile, laugh, and shed tear, But now they were contorted with rage and anger...his heart broke, But still He walked. Was he scared? You and I would have been, so his humanness wouldHave mandated that he was. He felt alone. His disciplesHad left, denied, and even betrayed him. He searched the crowd for a loving face and he saw very few. Then he turned his eyes to the only one that mattered And he knew that he would never be alone. He looked back at the crowd, at the people who were spittingAt him, throwing rocks at him and mocking him and he knewThat because of him, they would never be...

I get a funny feeling, it comes from deep inside. I get all mad and angry, wanting to go and hide. My doctor calls it depression, my dad says it's just me. But the thoughts and feelings, no one will ever be able to see. Some say I'm psycho, some say I'm just weird. It's like I'm a different person, and the old me just disappeared. I get really edgy, I want to commit suicide real bad. Then I get a headache, followed by feeling sad. I wish I could get help, I wish it would go away. Maybe if I keep praying real hard, it will some day.... {Another Cut-Copy-Paste!!}

What is Heights of Depresion???...must be when you know ur depresed and it doesnt matter anymore...on the contrary..it gives you a normal, routine-like feeling..!!! Everyday, I make promises to myself with every intention of keeping them...yet i'm made to realise that i've failed miserably..nothing...nothing I do is done correctly...I'll always be the wrong one because I'm a negative thinker...always coming up with problems and limitation...never solutions...never even appreciting them..!!My actions are wrong..my thoughts are wrong...my thought process is wrong...my beliefs are wrong..my choices..likes and dislikes are wrong..practically speaking...opnions no longer matter..!! What is good about me??? Am I suffocated...??? No...I no longer know how I feel and what I feel...stopped thinking..its easier this way... Am I depressed?? No Angry...?? No Motivated..?? Maybe Happy..?? Dont Know To please everyone is impossible...but, what is a person supposed to do when he/she r...

Mondays are supposed to be the longest and dullest one of the whole 7 days...but looking at what I feel today...Tuesday is no better..if not worse. The week itself started horribly...thanks to those darned never-ending, makes-no-sense exel sheets..!!NO...I'm not saying i'm bad at these things...just that some days are bad...when nothing I do would work out...( My boss is a patient man..!! had i been forced to work with dumb people like myself...I would have gone mad ;-) ) Its tuesday...three more days to go...and then..next week...there's another thing coming up...my review with the HR head... God only knows what i'm going to write for my report...showing my activities and learnings..!!! Activities: --Joined Hogwarts Yahoo group...and another couple of communities at Orkut. --Read about 5-6 E-books... --Read J.K Rowling's biography Learnings: --Lots of Exel functions... --Rumors about Harry Potter (7th book) Another thing's that i'm not feeling my very best....

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Angel's Existing Situation Acts in an orderly, methodical, and self-contained manner. Needs the sympathetic understanding of someone who will give her recognition and approval. Angel's Stress Sources Wants to overcome a feeling of emptiness and of separation from others. Believes that life still has far more to offer and that she may miss her share of experiences if she fails to make the best use of every opportunity. She therefore pursues her objectives with a fierce intensity and commits herself deeply and readily. Feels herself to be completely competent in any field in which she engages, and can sometimes be considered by others to be interfering or meddlesome. Angel's Restrained Characteristics Wants to broaden her fields of activity and insists that her hopes and ideas are realistic. Distressed by the fear that she may be prevented from doing what she wants; needs both peaceful conditions and quiet reassurance to restore her confidence. Circumstances force her to comp...

22nd Aug '06, an ordinary Wednesday...nothing very promising about it...but the good thing is that the week end is just two more days away...!!! This is the way my days..weeks..months fly by...weekdays spent waiting for the weekends...and weekends never seeming to last long enough.This is so much of a contrast from what life @ NIAM was...where even weekdays had the feel of weekends..My Golden Days... Neways...have not done anything very special during the past few days.Had gone home, and, for the first time ,in the past many months dint regret my decision to go to Pantnagar...met a few old friends...slept from morning till evening, blah..blah.. Read a couple of books...finished Deception Point, Nothing Lasts for Ever, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari...and TheFirm ( few more pages to go)... The highest point had been the discovery of the treasure house of e - books....u name it and I've got it.. ;-) ... Now I wish I get the time to read all those...otherwise...wat a waste... Its b...