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Can Anything I do Ever Be Right???

What is Heights of Depresion???...must be when you know ur depresed and it doesnt matter anymore...on the contrary..it gives you a normal, routine-like feeling..!!!
Everyday, I make promises to myself with every intention of keeping them...yet i'm made to realise that i've failed miserably..nothing...nothing I do is done correctly...I'll always be the wrong one because I'm a negative thinker...always coming up with problems and limitation...never solutions...never even appreciting them..!!My actions are wrong..my thoughts are wrong...my thought process is wrong...my beliefs are wrong..my choices..likes and dislikes are wrong..practically speaking...opnions no longer matter..!! What is good about me???
Am I suffocated...??? No...I no longer know how I feel and what I feel...stopped thinking..its easier this way...
Am I depressed?? No
Angry...?? No
Motivated..?? Maybe
Happy..?? Dont Know
To please everyone is impossible...but, what is a person supposed to do when he/she realises that he/she cannot please anybody who matters to him/her...
All my efforts " backfire"...nothing is good enough...
There is a possiblity that I've got overly demanding ...now...that should alert me to keep my level of expectations real low...but I believe I've been working on those grounds as well... :-(
Yes ..I do believe that you will be punished for all the wrongs you have done.. and my list of sins and wrong doings is not very brief...( is that why I'm avoiding confession...maybe..)
Ahem...so...this might be God's way of telling me something..trying to hint me where I'm going wrong...( Confession...I never was very good at reading those signs...and have got worse thesedays)...
Looks like I can do with some serious help...
Signing off...
NB- Is this my lengthiest blog by any chance???

Comments

Anonymous said…
Read your longest blog... yes i know what i have to say to all that "I am Sorry"... but things will improve and i know the effort is not on your part alone.
Just do a favour dont cry, feel and write these stuff... it pains to imagine you cry.
Belive me despits all your "i am wrong thoughts"... you are still the best i have known.
No one is perfect, blessed and near perfect are the ones who actualy try to be one!
Fri Sep 22, 06:45:00 PM
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