Backstage Entries

I get a funny feeling, it comes from deep inside. I get all mad and angry, wanting to go and hide. My doctor calls it depression, my dad says it's just me. But the thoughts and feelings, no one will ever be able to see. Some say I'm psycho, some say I'm just weird. It's like I'm a different person, and the old me just disappeared. I get really edgy, I want to commit suicide real bad. Then I get a headache, followed by feeling sad. I wish I could get help, I wish it would go away. Maybe if I keep praying real hard, it will some day.... {Another Cut-Copy-Paste!!}

What is Heights of Depresion???...must be when you know ur depresed and it doesnt matter anymore...on the contrary..it gives you a normal, routine-like feeling..!!! Everyday, I make promises to myself with every intention of keeping them...yet i'm made to realise that i've failed miserably..nothing...nothing I do is done correctly...I'll always be the wrong one because I'm a negative thinker...always coming up with problems and limitation...never solutions...never even appreciting them..!!My actions are wrong..my thoughts are wrong...my thought process is wrong...my beliefs are wrong..my choices..likes and dislikes are wrong..practically speaking...opnions no longer matter..!! What is good about me??? Am I suffocated...??? No...I no longer know how I feel and what I feel...stopped thinking..its easier this way... Am I depressed?? No Angry...?? No Motivated..?? Maybe Happy..?? Dont Know To please everyone is impossible...but, what is a person supposed to do when he/she r

Mondays are supposed to be the longest and dullest one of the whole 7 days...but looking at what I feel today...Tuesday is no better..if not worse. The week itself started horribly...thanks to those darned never-ending, makes-no-sense exel sheets..!!NO...I'm not saying i'm bad at these things...just that some days are bad...when nothing I do would work out...( My boss is a patient man..!! had i been forced to work with dumb people like myself...I would have gone mad ;-) ) Its tuesday...three more days to go...and then..next week...there's another thing coming up...my review with the HR head... God only knows what i'm going to write for my report...showing my activities and learnings..!!! Activities: --Joined Hogwarts Yahoo group...and another couple of communities at Orkut. --Read about 5-6 E-books... --Read J.K Rowling's biography Learnings: --Lots of Exel functions... --Rumors about Harry Potter (7th book) Another thing's that i'm not feeling my very best.