Backstage Entries

Was inspired to write after reading a couple of blogs few days back. There were a couple of things that I really liked. Both of them had a philosophical note. Think of Life as a Quest for a Moment that Stays… Aint that Cool…Don’t all of us relate to that… The often heard thing that we're told by sympathetic friends & well-wishers, when we go to them with our not-so-great lives is " Count your blessings", "Think of the Good Time's you've had", " Think of the fact that you are much much better of than millions out there"... But isn’t that a sad way to live. To live " Relatively "... to feel that you have had your share of Good times & Happiness that Life had in store for you... and be content about it. I believe it is. But that is how things are these days. They say the only thing that is constant is change... don’t know if it is applicable to this situation. Neways, .. A Good News... My cousin gave birth to an A

Hhhmmm…. Starting the post with a quick update. The worst thing that could have happened to me, took place on the fateful evening of 27 th June, when the office order for change in existing seating arrangement was circulated. Uprooted from my cozy place…where I could spend my free time browsing my favourite Sites …catching up with friends etc, now I sit (uncomfortably) with my computer screen clearly visible to the prying eyes of passersby. Review presentation over. Was something of a task…..describing the value addition in me (where there had been none) and giving details of the (managerial) activities I’d been involved in during the past year ( where all I’d done was donkey’s work). Another bit of news, that made my day, was when I got to know that my friend is expecting. The one who was with me in school centuries ago… God!! How fast time flies. Nothing very great happening on the personal front. Guess that sums it up. Now coming back to where I s

Its been a long time since i've blogged. The last time i was here was a real low, and i'd promised to myself not to come back with the same old depressing stories. Its been a long time since i've been at peace with myself. Cant say that i'm happy but yes, i've temporarily found peace. Going by the past experiences, i know it wont last long. Long lasting contentment, happiness ( anything...) has to come from within, whereas my internal motivators have long since stopped existing. That is why there have been so many emotional disturbances in my life, and they kinda continue to exisit. On a happier note, i'm about to complete one year of service in my first organisation. It has been a happy experience. Had a couple of learnings.........realised that MBAs are a complete waste in a place like this.....dint make many friends the whole year ( bad thing coz i tend to be painfully difficult to open up, and tend to stick to people i'm familiar with).....lost touch wit

" One Can Be Unhappy by oneself, but to be truly tormented, one must Love... " I t was one of those days again...and she hated them. She hated losing control over herself, her thoughts, her moods. She hated the helplessness and the depression. What was the point in living like this , speaking to people and exchanging words for the sake of it, she asked herself time and again..?? The twinkle in her eyes, the smile on her lips, the happiness and contend on her face was a faint shadow of was it used to be... " why?? why?? why me?? " that was the last thing on her mind when she closed her eyes, for another night of restless fitful sleep. Something had changed, something that was never there. Nightmares. Nightmares of an unhappy life ahead, nightmares of never ending days and everlasting nights ...of misery and lonliness. She was trying her best to cope with it, but even that was the last resort. She herself was to be blamed for it and she knew it. What

What is it that we're ultimately looking for?? Is it worth all the energy that we put in, only to realise, in the anguish of the moment, that all is lost ... There are several instances of married couples who lead parallel lives outside their homes. There are people who never could relate to the concept of commitment and monogamy. Then there are those relations that develop on the net and those that develop in the office environment because people are more together with each other than with their respective spouses. I often wonder what makes people fall out of love with their own spouses. Does a man’s or a woman’s love for their children change, in the sense that if their children don’t turn out the way they want them to be then do they look for other children to love. And the same goes for one’s parents. If you do not get along well with your parents, would you divorce them and get new ones or just a mother or father. In that case, I m sure the choices will be man

Someone once said that Smile is the easiest of things that can help solving problems...resolving differences. On the contrary, smile was something that feels alien to her thesedays. Her heart felt like lead, life... like desert. She couldnt remember being so unhappy ever during the 24 years of her existance. It was like she'd lost the motivation to go on, ...like there was no longer a focus to her life...nothing felt important...nothing was good enough. It was scary. Life had become monotonous...same routine...same arugments...similar fights...the self pity..feeling sorry for him...for those around them. Deep inside her, she knew her life was to be this way for the rest of the years, superficially, she liked to believe that she'd come to terms with it, yet she found it difficult to accept. It was the feeling of helplessness that she hated. She wanted to change things for the better for both of them, but failed to understand what needed to be done. Would total...mindless submiss

I need the touch of kindness. the healing touch so soft. hand that rises in a caress and strokes with love and care I need the loving words. the words which do not demand. They wash over me as music touching chords attuned to the mind I need the soothing presence. which does not inquire or intrude. Tis but a shadow which shelters from prying eyes of humanity crude! I need the complete acceptance. The love which sees but blindly. Makes love to the flaws with passion and unbridled flows the emotion. Cant you feel the need?? Why do you not pay heed?? Come , my empty arms ache my eyes unblinking, lie awake

Loved This Poem....Could See a Lot of Sense.... "Faking a laugh, faking a smile, Hiding the truth behind a mask, while my heart is breaking into pieces with every smile that i give That's the life that i live Used to believe in fairy tales, thinking it's a beautiful world Then i was appalled with the truth that this world holds I tried to fool myself and hide behind my dreams Tried to make everything as simple as it seems But deep inside, there were thousands of bursting tears, with every smile that i used to give that's the life that i live Ended up with a broken heart, ended up with my life ripped apart. Ended up left alone in the darkness, crying, Gave up and just quit trying..."

God, Give me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to Change the things I can.... and Wisdom to know the difference...

She felt numb... ; Nowhere to go, nobody to talk to.But she could not do a thing to it, as it was her choice and her fate that she's now standing where she is...out of the fire..into the frying pan .. Better life.. : whom was she fooling, herself or her own extension of the persona which was not like her. She regretted her decision a time more, she had built her life on false promises and illusions and now the life once again had stared back to her with its naked truth, wild but spiteful. It all started with a call and the twist of the destiny. She got what she wanted but what laid ahead, the false promises of sensitivity, friendship, to be looked after was more than she could have asked for. But in its own ways, the promise was forfeited over and over again. She was insecure and scared, as she tried to put up a brave front for the world; she knew it was too late for her and it disconcerted her time and again. She wanted to move out of the squirm of the emotional perplexity and